Copyright © 1999 by Mike Ziegler. All rights reserved.
1999, 1998 by David Perle.
1996, 1995, 1994 by Jeff McRae.
History of FAQ:
v1.0 Mar '94 - The original, only took a few hours to write.
v1.1 Apr '94 - Added some small bits of info & Incesticide info.
v2.0 Apr '94 - Added Kurt's death and a few others...
v3.0 Jun '94 - A few minor changes.
v3.1 Jul '94 - Added Kurt vs. Axl and Vanity Fair stuff.
v3.2 Aug '94 - Removed suicide note, added demo list.
v3.3 Nov '94 - Added a few minor things.
v4.0 Jan '95 - Same major changes, including text of suicide note.
v4.1 Feb '95 - Split the FAQ into 3 parts and an index.
v4.2 May '95 - Added the Fecal Matter demo info.
v4.3 Jan '96 - Added the In Utero Symbols.
v5.0 Dec '96 - Major facelift. Changed things around a bit.
v6.0 Jun '98 - FAQ changes hands to David Perle. Major facelift
w/rearrangements & updates, HTML'ized it. Added
questions from the Alt.Music.Nirvana FAQ and
Fecal Matter section from the newsgroup. The new
v6.1 Jun '98 - Fixed some mistakes.
v7.0 Sept'99 - FAQ passed over to Mike Ziegler. Cleaned up the whole
FAQ and added some new information.
v7.1 Nov '99 - Added various new info and more cleaning up.
Without these people, this FAQ couldn't have happened:
Jeff McRae / Rick Scaia / Art Lee / Alex Lum / Liz Ellison / John Loughney
/ Jonas Blank / Leo P Cailleteau III / Michael Azerrad / Everyone who supported
alt.music.nirvana, and everyone else who I might have missed.
Extra Special thanks go out to: Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and Dave
Please note that this document is to serve only as an overview of the
band Nirvana. For a much more comprehensive text well worth its cost, please
be sure to pick up "Come As You Are, The Story of Nirvana," by Michael
Azerrad. You won't regret it!
Table of Contents
PART ONE -- THE NIRVANA FAQ
I. The Band, Basic Info
A. The Band
1. How it all began
2. Other names/drummers/extras and where they are now
3. Current Sketch
B. Important Dates In Nirvana History
C. Kurt's first poem.
II. Frequently Asked Questions and Trivia
B. Frequently Asked Questions
C. Bootlegs, bootlegs, bootlegs
III. Album & Song Info
A. Album list and song interpretations (where applicable)
4. In Utero
5. MTV's Unplugged In New York
6. From The Muddy Banks Of The Wishkah
B. Singles, EPs, Videos, and compilation appearances
4. Compilation appearances
C. Information on some older, non-studio demos
1. Fecal Matter
2. "Mellow 4-track shit"
3. "4 quirky song demo"
D. Unused studio tracks
E. What's next?
IV. TV and Radio Appearances
A. Krist's Internet posts
B. Mini-Book Reviews
C. Early Nirvana biography
D. Kurts Cobain's designed Fender Jag-Stang
E. Dave Grohl's top 10 drummer jokes
F. 1992 Australian tour info
G. FAQ Of "Perfume" - Kurt Cobain's Favorite Book
H. Nirvana album linear notes
4. From the Muddy Banks of Wishkah
X. Full text of Kurt Cobain's suicide note
VI. How to get in contact with me
I. The Band
A.1 - How it all began -
The core of Nirvana formed when Kurt Cobain met Krist (then Chris)
Novoselic through the punk band 'The Melvins'. Since then, they have gone
through many different drummers and different names. The name "Nirvana"
means 'absolute and total bliss,' 'Buddhist beatitude, extinction of individuality
& absorption into the supreme spirit.
A.2 - Who they were, and where are they now -
(an '*' before the name indicates the bands final line up)
Band Name Who was in it/what did he play Where now? ========= ==============================
========== Fecal Matter Kurt Cobain - Guitar/Vocals Dale Crover - Bass
Guitar Greg Hokanson - Drums Mike Dillard - Drums Brown Cow Buzz Osbourne
- Bass Guitar The Melvins Dale Crover - Drums The Melvins Kurt Cobain -
Guitar/Vocals Stiff Woodies Krist - Vocals/Guitar/Bass Kurt - Drums The
Sellouts Steve Newman - Bass Guitar (lost fingers in chainsaw accident)
Kurt Cobain - Drums Krist - Guitar/Vocals ??????? Kurt - Guitar/Vocals
Krist - Bass Guitar Bob McFadden - Drums Skid Row Aaron Burckhard - Drums
Kurt - Guitar Krist - Bass Guitar Bliss Aaron Burckhard - Drums Kurt -
Guitar Krist - Bass Guitar Throat Oyster Aaron Burckhard - Drums Kurt -
Guitar Krist - Bass Guitar Pen Cap Chew Aaron Burckhard - Drums Kurt -
Guitar Krist - Bass Guitar Windowpane Aaron Burckhard - Drums Kurt - Guitar
Krist - Bass Guitar Ted Ed Fred (1) Kurt - Guitar/Vocals Krist - Bass Guitar
Chad Channing - Drums Ted Ed Fred (2) Kurt - Guitar/Vocals Krist - Bass
Guitar Dale Crover - Drums Nirvana *Kurt Cobain - Guitar Vocals Died: 1st
week of 4/94 *Krist Novoselic - Bass Band - Sweet 75 Aaron Burckhard -
Drums Band - Attica Dave Foster - Drums Band - Papawheelie Chad Channing
- Drums Band - The Methodists, T.V.I.V. Jason Everman - Guitar Band - Mindfunk
Danny Peters - Drums Band - Mudhoney *Dave Grohl - Drums Band - Foo Fighters
John Duncan - Guitar Band - The Exploited *Pat Smear - Guitar Band - ???
A.3 - Current Sketch -
As of right now, there is no more Nirvana; Kurt Cobain died on or around
4/5/94 at his home in Seattle, WA (171 Lake Washington Blvd. East). Dave
Grohl started the band Foo Fighters which also included Pat Smear for a
while (1995-1997), and Krist Novoselic is in a band called Sweet 75. Krist
has also been involved in fighting for artists' rights, and is currently
the president of Joint Artist & Music Promotions Action Committee,
B - Important dates in Nirvana history:
08-05-59 Pat Smear is born (as George Ruthenburg)
07-09-64 Courtney Love is born (as Love Michelle Harrison)
05-16-65 Krist Anthony Novoselic born to Krist and Maria Novoselic
01-31-67 Chad Channing born to Wayne and Burnyce Channing
02-20-67 Kurt Donald Cobain born to Wendy and Donald Cobain
01-14-69 David Eric Grohl born to James and Virginia Grohl
??-??-75 Kurt's parents divorce, Kurt lives with mother
02-??-78 Kurt's father remarries
??-??-79 Krist's family moves to Aberdeen
06-??-80 Krist sent to Croatia for a year to live with relatives
02-20-81 Kurt gets his first guitar
??-??-81 While working at Taco Bell, Krist meets Buzz Osbourne
??-??-82 Kurt and Krist finally meet thru Buzz Osbourne
??-??-83 Krist graduates from high school
05-??-84 Kurt's mother remarries to Pat O'Connor
05-11-85 Kurt drops out of high school
??-??-86 Krist and Kurt form various bands, they change band names
01-23-88 Nirvana records demo with Dale Crover
04-24-88 Nirvana plays their first show in Seattle at the Vogue
10-30-88 Kurt smashes his first guitar
11-??-88 First single: Love Buzz/Big Cheese released
02-xx-89 First west coast tour
04-11-89 Kurt and Courtney meet for the first time at the Satyricon
06-09-89 Bleach released
06-22-89 The tour for Bleach begins in San Francisco
07-18-89 Last show with Jason Everman
09-xx-89 Make up tour dates due to the loss of Jason
10-xx-89 Blew EP recorded at Music Source Studios in Seattle
10-23-89 Nirvana plays first European show, Newcastle, England
12-30-89 Krist and Shelli get married in Tacoma, WA
02-xx-90 Nirvana begins another short US tour
05-??-90 Chad Channing is kicked out of the group
07-11-90 Sliver single recorded with Dan Peters with TAD's equipment
09-??-90 Sliver/Dive single released on Sub-Pop
09-22-90 Dan Peters only show with Nirvana
10-11-90 Dave Grohl's first show with Nirvana
04-17-91 Nirvana first plays Smells Like Teen Spirit
04-30-91 Nirvana formally signs with Geffen Records
06-??-91 Begin recording Nevermind with Butch Vig
08-17-91 The video for Smells Like Teen Spirit is made
08-xx-91 2 week European tour with Sonic Youth
09-13-91 Release party for Nevermind
09-14-91 MTV debuts Smells Like Teen Spirit on 120 minutes
09-20-91 North American tour for Nevermind begins in Toronto
09-24-91 Nevermind is released, debuted at #144 on Billboard
10-12-91 Nevermind goes Gold
10-14-91 Smells Like Teen Spirit in Buzz Bin rotation on daytime MTV
11-04-91 European tour for Nevermind begins in Bristol England
12-10-91 Soundscan reports Nevermind selling 300,000 per week
12-xx-91 Short US tour with Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chilli Peppers
01-07-92 Nirvana turns down Guns & Roses tour invitation
01-10-92 Nirvana plays MTV studios
01-11-92 Nirvana plays Saturday Night Live, Nevermind hits #1
01-21-92 The video for Come As You Are is made
01-??-92 Hormoaning released in Australia and Japan
01-24-92 Nirvana begins a Pacific rim tour.
02-24-92 Kurt Cobain marries Courtney Love in Waikiki, Hawaii
06-xx-92 2 week European make-up tour
06-22-92 Kurt collapses in Belfast due to stomach problems
07-21-92 Lithium single released with Nevermind album lyrics inside
08-18-92 Frances Bean Cobain is born at 7:45
08-30-92 Nirvana headlines Reading Festival
09-08-92 Nirvana plays Lithium at MTV music awards, wins 2 awards
11-??-92 In Bloom Video premieres on MTV
12-15-92 Incesticide released
03-xx-93 Video for Sliver is shot
03-xx-93 In Utero recorded in 2 weeks
07-23-93 Nirvana plays surprise show at New Music Seminar in NYC
08-06-93 Nirvana plays Mia Zapata Benefit for former lead singer of
09-08-93 Nirvana wins Best Alternative Video award at MTV Video awards
09-??-93 Pat Smear joins Nirvana
09-14-93 In Utero released in UK
09-19-93 Heart Shaped Box video premieres on MTV
09-21-93 After a week delay, In Utero released in US
09-25-93 Nirvana plays Saturday Night Live for a second time
10-18-93 Nirvana begins US tour supporting In Utero
11-18-93 Nirvana records Unplugged session for MTV
12-12-93 All Apologies video premieres on MTV
12-13-93 MTV's Live and Loud is recorded
12-16-93 Nirvana Unplugged airs on MTV
12-31-93 MTV's New Years Eve special airs, Nirvana headlines
02-06-94 Nirvana begins European Tour
03-01-94 The Final Nirvana show is played in Munich, Germany
03-04-94 Kurt Cobain is hospitalized comatose
03-05-94 Kurt awakens from coma, asks for milkshake
03-08-94 Kurt leaves hospital under his own power
04-05-94 Kurt died from apparently self-inflicted gunshot to the head.
04-07-94 Alt.music.nirvana is created
04-08-94 The body of Kurt Cobain is found
04-10-94 Memorial Service held in Seattle, Courtney reads from suicide
09-08-94 Nirvana wins Best Alternative Video for Heart-Shaped Box
11-01-94 Nirvana: Unplugged in New York is released in the US
11-15-94 Nirvana: Live! Tonight! Sold Out! is released in US
07-04-95 Dave Grohl's Foo Fighter's Album released
10-01-96 From the Muddy Banks Of The Wishkah released
05-20-97 Dave Grohl's Foo Fighter's 2nd album is released
08-26-97 Krist Novoselic's band Sweet 75 releases their self titled
C - Kurt's first poem -
"I hate mom. I hate dad. Dad hates mom. Mom hates dad. It simply makes
you want to be so sad."
II. Frequently Asked Questions and Trivia
A. - Trivia
Courtney was married in an old dress of Frances Farmer's.
"Breed" was originally called "Imodium," based on the medicine that
the lead singer of Tad used on one of their European tours.
"Stay Away" was originally called "Pay To Play" and was recorded as
that. A last minute change of taste caused the change.
'In Utero' went through 2 name changes. It was originally to be called
"I Hate Myself And Want To Die' and then later "Verse, Chorus, Verse."
The morning of the New Music Seminar 7/23/93, Kurt OD'd on heroin; Courtney
injected him with an illegal drug used to wake people who've OD'd on heroin.
He went on-stage and performed. No one knew the difference.
The rights for "Never Fade Away: The Kurt Cobain Story" were sold to
Paradigm Talent, who plan to make a movie. Cobain's family prevented Azerrad
from selling the rights to his stunning authorized biography "Come As You
Are: The Story Of Nirvana."
Some of Kurt's early jobs before becoming a full time musician included
being a janitor of his old school for eight months and being a lifeguard
for a summer. His other main hobbies included his artwork, and reading.
If Nirvana had stuck with the Sub-Pop label as originally planned; for
their second album it would have been titled "Sheep." Kurt said so in the
circulated "The Bark Not The Bite" interview. Krist brings up in "Nevermind
- It's An Interview," that it basically would have consisted of the Butch
Vig demos with a few other songs.
Chad Channing is actually the one who plays the cymbal parts on the
Nevermind version of "Polly." He is not credited on the album, because
there really is no percussion part to the song. It was recorded in the
earlier Vig sessions, and not when Nevermind was formally recorded.
Nirvana will be eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2014.
The way it works is that you become eligible 25 years after your first
album release. And Nirvana's first album 'Bleach' was released in 1989.
There are two lines in the Nevermind liner notes that are not lyrics
on the album:
1) "The second coming came in last and out of the closet"
2) "At the end of the rainbow and your rope"
Thanks to Kurt's Uncle by marriage, Larry Smith:
I wanted you all to know that Kurt used to tell my sister that he was
"forever in debt to your priceless advice" when they were bitching at each
other. It used to just piss her off royally when he said that. When me
and Debbie (my wife) first heard those words set to music, I just got goosebumps.
I discussed the meaning with her, and she would tell me that she was "forever
in debt to my priceless advice" just to be smart-aleck! :-) Let me tell
you that my wife certainly loved Kurt, and especially what he stood for.
She was a huge fan. She was really hit hard by his death, as I know so
many of you were. She was in the hospital a couple of months ago, and on
some pretty heavy medication. She was really grieving for Kurt and the
whole damn situation when she was "out of it." It was hard to see her like
Does anyone know of the origin of that phrase (priceless advice...)
other than what I know, I mean from the musical standpoint? I would be
interested to hear. Let me also tell you that Don and Jen had a dog named
Blackie that used to wear an e-collar (that plastic thing that keeps them
from taking out stitches or whatever from their hind quarters). The dog
in the video (CAYA) looks so eerily like Blackie. Also, I will relate to
you about what I feel is significant about the water coming down the stairs.
Made me just cringe (still does). You know, there are a significant number
of people in my age bracket who just still love Nirvana...I know, hard
to believe. Will write more soon. Listening to Lithium at this moment.
Gives me chills down my spine when I hear Kurt's voice. It's all so weird,
and so damn sad. You know, my lower lip still trembles...young Kurt was
so unbelievably idealistic and so far ahead of his time...
There are Muzak (elevator music) versions of "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
and "Negative Creep" on a CD titled "Grunge Lite" (CZ 064).
B. - Frequently Asked Questions
Where can I find a complete listing of Nirvana songs?
The best place is to go to John Loughney's "Recording Sessions Guide."
John does a good job of keeping everything updated with alternate song
titles and other various information, as well as extensive recording sessions
Were there any other bands called "Nirvana?"
Two other bands have been called "Nirvana."
The first had a minor hit in the late 60s titled "Chasing Rainbows."
They released several albums, one titled "The Story of Simon Simeopath."
The other is a Christian-Rock band from the early 80s. They attempted to
sue our Nirvana for stealing their name. In early '92, the Christian Nirvana
played a show in California and it was attended by many angry fans expecting
our Nirvana to play. Nirvana had to settle the lawsuits, paying out $200,000
to the 60's band, and $100,000 to the Christian band.
Was Frances Bean named after Frances Farmer? What's the deal with "Bean"?
Frances was not named after Frances Farmer, but after a member of the
Vaselines, Frances McKee. Kurt said he'd wished he'd thought of naming
her after Farmer. Frances' middle name comes from the shape she appeared
in a sonogram (bean). A picture of the sonogram appears within the "Lithium"
Where did the title for "Smells Like Teen Spirit" come from? The deodorant?
One day Kurt and a friend were having a discussion about teenage revolution,
they later got drunk and his friend wrote on the wall 'Kurt smells like
teen spirit.' Kurt was inspired, he thought she meant he would be the type
of person who could incite a teen rebellion. He went and wrote the song.
She thought that he just smelled like the deodorant. Kurt hadn't heard
of the deodorant at the time, and he claimed to have rarely used it himself.
Hey, I was watching the "Teen Spirit" video the other day and I noticed
"Chaka" written all over Dave's drum kit -- what's the deal with that?
Apparently there was some infamous graffiti artist in L.A. who tagged
everything as "Chaka," and after he was caught and sentenced with community
service, he was told not to tag anything else. However, supposedly after
he left the building, they checked the elevator to discover that he had
in fact written "Chaka" inside.
What is "Endless, Nameless"?
"Endless, Nameless" is a hidden song on the Nevermind album. It is
hidden, and not mentioned on the CD anywhere. It appears approximately
10 minutes after the end of the 12th song, "Something In The Way," on certain
copies of the CD. If your CD player stops right after "Something In the
Way," you do not have a copy with "Endless, Nameless." The first 50,000
CDs pressed lack the track. The song is also available on the "Come As
You Are" single, as a b-side, but it is a slightly different version.
I have Nevermind w/o "Endless, Nameless." Is it worth anything special?
No. Unless you have one of the first 50,000 (chances are you don't),
you just have a regular copy of Nevermind. Some came with, some without,
"Endless, Nameless." It all depended on where the discs were made, were
they were going, and when they were made.
What's all this talk about a secret song on some "No Alternative" compilation?
There is an uncredited Nirvana song on the 1993 compilation "No Alternative,"
an AIDS benefit album. The song is called "Sappy." It is a very old Nirvana
song and was recorded numerous times over the years. This version almost
finally appeared on In Utero.
Where is Kurt Cobain buried?
Kurt Cobain's body was cremated; the remains are not yet buried in
any public place, if they even ever will be. Courtney has supposedly spread
small parts of the ashes in many places such as a Buddhist monastery, which
was later returned, and under a tree in the front yard of their Lake Washington
home in Seattle, WA that was pulled up when Courtney and Frances moved
from the home.
Where can I find Kurt's suicide note?
You can find it at the end of this FAQ. Scans of the actual note are
abundant on Nirvana fan sites.
Who is the baby on the Nevermind cover?
That is Spencer Eldon. Kurt got the idea for the cover when Dave and
him were watching a documentary on underwater births. Kurt and Courtney
once commented that they were going to take him out to dinner when he was
old enough. His family reportedly made $200 for the picture.
Who is that woman (?) on the In Utero CD?
That is not a woman at all, but Michael Dewitt (aka "Cali") in drag;
he was Kurt & Courtney's nanny for Frances during that time. It was
said at one time that he had a striking resemblence to Kurt because Cali
had long blonde hair as well.
Is "Rape Me" about poetic justice for a rapist, or is it about the media?
Kurt always insisted that it wasn't aimed at the media, but one line
of the song is directed toward the Vanity Fair article and it's author,
Lynn Hirschberg: My favorite inside source. Hirschberg claimed to have
gotten the info that Courtney did heroin the whole time of her pregnancy
from 'an inside source'. The song itself, written in 1991, is a song of
justice (as Kurt put it): A guy rapes a girl, goes to prison, and is raped
there by other prison inmates.
Is there actually a released single for "Pennyroyal Tea?"
Yes. The "Pennyroyal Tea" single contains three tracks: Scott Litt's
remix of the title track, which contains louder backing vocals and more
guitar at the coda, as well as "I Hate Myself And Want To Die" and "Where
Did You Sleep Last Night?" (the latter being from Unplugged). This was
released to coincide with Nirvana's European tour, but circumstances ultimately
canceled the tour and the singles were recalled. It's estimated that 5,000
or so are still out there.
What is the correct spelling of Kurt's name?
It is spelled K-u-r-t; the odd spelling Kurdt came from when they recorded
"Mexican Seafood" for the "Teriyaki Asthma" compilation. When it came time
to make the album, they realized that they didn't know Kurt's name so they
got a hold of someone who "thought they knew" and it went from there. Incidentally,
the people at Caroline records (who put out the "Teriyaki Asthma" compilation)
received no money for the appearance of "Mexican Seafood" on Incesticide
because they didn't bother with a contract, 'cause they didn't make contracts
for any bands. He later used the misspelling to give himself some anonymity.
The 'monkey photo' credit on Nevermind is to Kurdt Kobain. Other misspellings
can be found in autographs, etc., like first names Curt, Curtis, and last
names Cohbain, and Covain. I read in one article Dave mispelt his name
"Cave" for a short while. Other band members are properly spelled Krist
Novoselic, changed form Chris back to original Croatian spelling in 1993,
and David Eric Grohl.
Hey, in that picture inside of Wishkah, what's it say on Kurt's shoe?
It looks like "Fuhgawz"? What is that?
Some tend to think that it's a Fugazi, a hard-core punk, reference,
while others think it's nonsense. According to one Nirvana article both
of his shoes had it written on them in two different spellings of the name.
Reportedly Kurt put it on his shoes to make fun of the misspelling that
Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder had on his shirt that he had written
the band name Fugazi on during a photo shoot.
I bought the Teen Spirit single and it said Even in His Youth is 4:20,
but it's actually a lot shorter!
You've overlooked a clever marijuana reference, just another one of
the band's inside jokes. A 420 is police code for someone with an illegal
substance on them.
Where does the "Vandalism: Beautiful As A Rock In A Cop's Face" sticker
on Kurt's guitar come from?
It's a lyric from the song "Gut Rage" off the Feederz CD Re-release
of "Ever Feel Like Killing Your Boss?" and possibly their most popular
bumper sticker as well...
How far did each member of the band go in their schooling?
Well, Kurt dropped out of high school weeks before he was to graduate.
He didn't have enough credits to pass anyways and didn't want to take summer
school. Krist did end up graduating, yet neither of them once appeared
in any of their high school yearbooks. Dave dropped out of high school
on the East coast of the US to be the drummer in one of his favorite bands,
What's the deal between Kurt and Axl?
Axl had asked Kurt to join them on their huge tour. Kurt declined.
Later, Axl asked Kurt to play at his 30th birthday party. Kurt declined.
This is from 'The Advocate' Feb 03 1993. Kurt was asked 2 questions
about Guns and Roses.
Q: Is there anything about Guns N' Roses' music you like?
A: I can't think of a damn thing. I can't even waste my time on that
band, because they're so obviously pathetic and untalented. I used to think
that everything in the mainsteam pop world was crap, but now that some
underground bands have been signed with majors, I take Guns N' Roses as
more of an offense. I have to look into it more: They're really talentless
people, and they write crap music, and they're the most popular rock band
on the earth right now. I can't believe it.
Q: Didn't Axl Rose say something nasty to you at the MTV Video Music
Awards in September?
A: They actually tried to beat us up. Courtney and I were with the baby
in the eating area backstage, and Axl walked by. So Courtney yelled, "Axl!
Axl, come over here!" We just wanted to say hi to him--we think he's a
joke, but we just wanted to say something to him. So I said, "Will you
be the godfather of our child?" I don't know what had happened before that
to piss him off, but he took his aggressions out on us and began screaming
These were his words: "You shut your bitch up, or I'm taking you down
to the pavement." [laughs] Everyone around us just burst out into tears
of laughter. She wasn't even saying anything mean, you know? So I turned
to Courtney and said, "Shut up, bitch!" And everyone laughed and he left.
So I guess I did what he wanted me to do--be a man. [laughs]
Kurt told this story to the crowd at the Portland OR 9/10/92 concert,
try to get it if you can.
What went on with the Vanity Fair article?
Vanity Fair wrote an article about Courtney and her drug use. They
twisted the facts and got the Cobains into a lot of trouble. Kurt was asked
two questions about it.
Once again this is taken from 'The Advocate' Feb 03 1993.
Kurt: I've never read an article that was more convincing yet more ridiculous
in my life. Everybody from our record label to our management to our closest
friends believed that shit.
She [Hirschberg] did a really good job of taking a piece of what Courtney
had said and turning it into something completely different. I've seen
that happen before--it's happened with me a lot of times--but this was
such an extreme and done so well that I have to give her credit. She's
a master at being catty.
Q: What about the drug use?
A: Courtney was honest about the heroin excursion we went on for a few
months. Then Courtney found herself pregnant, realized she was pregnant
and had a drug problem, and got off drugs. It's as simple as that. But
it made it look like eight months after the fact, Courtney was still nine
months pregnant and still doing drugs and everyone was really concerned.
Like there was some awful den of iniquity going on in our apartment. I
looked really skinny. Well, I am a skinny person, and I gain ten pounds
every time I'm photographed, so people assume I'm this chunky, normal weight
I'm just so tired of talking about this. We have to live with the results
of this one article every fucking day. It's something we have to deal with
all the time.
The results of this article were that there was an investigation into
the Cobains that resulted in Frances being taken away for some time (Courtney's
sister took care of her). They finally got custody back after being able
to prove they were good parents.
I want to check out some other bands that either influenced Nirvana
or sound like them...so, what are some?
According to CDNow!:
Influenced Nirvana: The Beatles, Black Sabbath, Meat Puppets, Pixies,
Sonic Youth, Melvins, Vaselines, R.E.M.
Similar to Nirvana: Alice in Chains, Babes In Toyland, Breeders, Cheap
Trick, Dinosaur Jr., Fastbacks, Husker Du, L7, Minutemen, Bob Mould, Mudhoney,
My Bloody Valentine, Pearl Jam, Raincoats, Soundgarden, Tad, Teenage Fanclub,
Throwing Muses, Fluid, Green River, Half Japanese, Hole, Daniel Johnston,
Love Battery, Urge Overkill, P.J. Harvey, Frank Black, The Lemonheads
What's that mumbling in the middle of "I Hate Myself and Want to Die?"
That is Kurt reciting a Jack Handey 'Deep Thought' from Saturday Night
Live, around 1991 or 1992: Most people don't realize that two pieces of
coral, painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws can
make a child look like a deer.
What are those symbols on the back cover of In Utero?
Here's the decoder information:
SYMBOLS FROM TOP LEFT CORNER TO TOP RIGHT CORNER:
1: sow - most popular animal form of the Goddess -- Demeter often appeared
2: jar sprouting a stream of water - symbol for fertility & fertility
3: honeycomb - see "bee"
4: dolphin - totem of Demeter as Mistress of the Sea - word "dolphin"
comes from Greek word for "womb"
5: triangle - represented female + trinity of Goddess (Virgin, Mother,
Crone) - also represented fire
6: mare - symbolizes Goddess Epona + daytime aspect of Mareheaded Demeter
- Scandinavian witches turned themselves into mares
SYMBOLS FROM TOP RIGHT TO BOTTOM RIGHT:
1: Alchemical Rose - symbol of sacred womb - symbol of virgin daughter
within mother - applied to images like Kore/Demeter and Mary/Eve
2: Baubo - [I think you could easily read this as Baubo representing
Courtney and Demeter representing Kurt] - female clown who managed to draw
laughter from Demeter in the midst of her grief. Baubo induced the Great
Mother to forget her anger long enough to take a little nourishment.
3: diameter - symbol for water, salt, and sea - related to the primordial
Mother Goddess, who mingled all elements to create life from flesh (earth),
blood (water), breath (air), and fire (vital heat)
4: ??? (wasn't in the 1988 printing)
5: symbol for planet Pluto - female Pluto deity who was despised and
discredited by Greeks + was combined w. Demeter in a triple form (Virgin,
Mother, and Crone)
6: poppy - "since opium and its derivatives--morphine, heroin--are
extracted from the opium poppy, it is hardly surprising to find the flower
associated w. sleep, inertia, numbness, and death. Demeter as a death Goddess
was often shown with poppies [like the Heart-Shaped Box video]....Thebaine
yields an important narcotic antagonist, naloxone, which is given to infants
born of heroin addicts, to help soften the sock of withdrawal that such
infants must go through"
SYMBOLS FROM BOTTOM RIGHT TO BOTTOM LEFT
1: Sub Pop logo
2: Geffen logo
3: oops - forgot to look this one up
4: bee - greatly prized because they gave valuable honey - Demeter
addressed as "the pure mother bee" - identified w. mortality in folklore
- "bee was symbol of feminine potency of nature"
5: infinity sign - [another interesting one] - sexual union and sense
of perfection - two becoming one (two uniting circles, one representing
man and the other woman)
SYMBOLS FROM BOTTOM LEFT TO TOP LEFT
1: ???? - not in the 1988 edition
2: sulfer - sacred to Athene - associated w. purification - also symbolized
angry aspect of Athene (Goddess Brimo), which was also identified w. Demeter
3: labrys (axe) - stood for Amazons and their Goddess (Demeter / Artemis
/ etc.) - has been adopted by lesbians as their amuletic symbol
4: corn dolly - embodiment of the harvest - one of its many alternate
names was the Demeter
5: symbol for Ceres, Roman title of Great Goddess as Mother of the
Harvest and ruler of all grains - indicated planting of male seed in earth's
6: sistrum - used to worship Egyptian Great Goddess - sacred rattle
- its sound dispelled evil spirits
What's the deal with this crazy 'Beans' song? That can't be Kurt, can
Yes it can be! And it is. Chad Channing, Nirvana drummer extraordinaire,
1988-1990, says so himself!
What is the Church of Kurt Cobain?
The Church Of Kurt Cobain in Washington started getting national recognition
after Kurt's death. They supposedly were built around the philosophies
found in Nirvana lyrics. However, after about a week, this "church" was
revealed to have been a hoax to win a Portland, Oregon radio station contest.
The idea was to expose the station to as many people as possible; however,
these guys did not win.
What is Melvana?
Melvana is a group featuring members of Nirvana and the Melvins. The
group was composed of Buzz Osbourne, Krist Novoselic, and Dave Grohl. They
played once, on 01/15/92. They played as many as 5 songs, but only 2 are
available, 2 Flipper covers, "Sacrifice" & "Way of The World."
Is Krist online? Is it true that Krist posted in the newsgroup?
It is true that Krist has posted a few messages in the newsgroup since
1994. You may read the posts below, in the Miscellaneous section.
Who are Sweet 75, and have they broken up?
Sweet 75 is the band featuring former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic.
They broke up for a few months in 1998, but as of June '98 they reunited.
As of now, they have one self-titled record and an Australian-released
single. After breaking up, Krist was in the band Sky Cries Mary, and Sweet
75 lead singer Yva Las Vegas was in the band Didi7.
Wasn't Krist into a lot of politics after Nirvana ended?
He sure was, and he still is. Early on after the demise of Nirvana
he was much involved with an anti-censorship group called JAMPAC. He is
currently the president of JAMPAC.
Who is Tom Grant? What's all this I keep hearing about Kurt being murdered?
Tom Grant is an investigator in California. He was originally hired
by Courtney to find Kurt. He, among others, has formulated theories that
Kurt was murdered. He has accumulated quite the online following and has
just as many people who think he's crazy. Tom Grant has his own web site
where he updates his theories and progress; you can find a link here.
What is "Fecal Matter?"
It is a demo Kurt made at his Aunt Mary's house in December of 1985.
It is considered the "holy grail" of Nirvana collectibles. There is a CD
titled "Fecal Matters." This is not the real Fecal Matter demo. It is just
some Bleach-era studio material. A few years back, Fecal Matter Quest (an
old online group which hoped to find the demo and other rare Nirvana recordings)
found what some believe to be the Fecal Matter demo. It was the hot topic
of discussion in online discussions among Nirvana fans. That recording
turned out to be a fake.
What is "Organized Confusion"?
Organized Confusion is similar to Fecal Matter, except it was recorded
a couple years before Fecal Matter in December of 1982. Some think that
the fake "Fecal Matter demo" being distributed through the Internet is
actually O.C., but it's not.
What are a few of the aliases that Kurt and Nirvana went under?
When Kurt & Courtney would check into hotels many times they would
go under the names Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. Sid Vicious was the bass
player for the Sex Pistols and Nancy was his girlfriend. Just one of the
couples Kurt & Courtney were compared to. Kurt & Courtney were
also compared many times to John Lennon and Yoko Onno. When Nirvana was
recording "In Utero" with producer Steve Albini they checked into the recording
studio as the Simon Ritchie Project. Simon Ritchie was actually Sid Vicious's
real name. If you are interested in finding out more about Sid Vicious
or the Sex Pistols check out the 1986 movie "Sid and Nancy." Courtney Love
is also in a small part of the movie, playing one of Nancy's friends.
How tall was Kurt, and how much did he weigh?
Well, there are various reports, but according to the missing person
report that Courtney filed claiming to be Kurt's mother in Seattle when
Kurt was no where to be found states that he was 5'10" and weighed 135
I heard Nirvana was once sued over copyright infringements. What was
that all about?
Nirvana was sued by the band, Killing Joke. According to the bassist
Paul Raven, papers were filed in Los Angeles claiming that the guitar riff
of Nirvana's "Come As You Are" is a direct copy of Killing Joke's 1985
hit, "Eighties." Krist Novoselic went in to court on the behalf of Nirvana,
and the case was later dismissed.
Has Courtney stayed close with the Cobain family since Kurt's death?
According to a Courtney press release from 1997 (at the same time she
announced the sale of the Seattle home), Courtney was going to buy a "horse
farm" in Washington St. where Kurt's mother and aunts were going to live.
She planned for Frances to visit the farm often because "horses are good
for little girls."
I have seen that Kurt had a some sort of tattoo on his arm, what is
Yes, Kurt indeed had a tattoo on his arm, the K Records symbol. K Records
is the Olympia, WA based label run by Calvin Johnson. Plus I'm sure it
had an added bonus as the first letter of his name. Kurt did the tattoo
himself circa 1991 and Dave Grohl reportedly taught Kurt how to do it.
I heard Kurt & Courtney made a few threatening phone calls to some
people in 1992, what happened?
Well, when Kurt & Courtney found out about an unauthorized book
that was supposed to be coming out about them and Nirvana that was hyping
itself up and going to reveal the real side behind their lives and this
angered the too very much. They tried to come to a compromise with the
two ladies writing the book to no avail. So Courtney Love left a message
on Victoria Clarke's answering machine (one of the authors) followed by
nine of Kurt's. They had already been having problems with Lynn Hirschburg
of Vanity Fair, and now there was not to be just one bad article, which
last time got custody of Frances taken away from them, but now a whole
book! The messages stated everything from begging them to not publish a
book, to trying to compromise with them by paying them off, and even went
as fas as threatening to have them snuffed out. In the end, nothing came
of the incident.
C. - Bootlegs, Bootlegs, Bootlegs
What's the deal with Nirvana bootlegs?
Well, obviously, Nirvana is not touring anymore. The only way to truly
experience what Nirvana was is to listen to live tapes. There are currently
over 220 'surfaced' Nirvana shows (meaning that they are circulating amongst
the traders and not being hoarded by a small group). The earliest show
available is an unknown 1987 party show. The last available show is a TV
broadcast of the final Nirvana concert in Munich, Germany on March 1, 1994.
Aren't bootlegs illegal?
We use the word bootleg freely in this FAQ. What we are trading are
live concert tapes, which most bands don't have a problem with. The problem
lies with bootleg and pirate CDs, which can cut into a band's profits.
For more info on this, read the alt.music.bootlegs FAQ.
What is the band's view?
I know that Kurt owned a few bootlegs (by other bands). In fact, he
was introduced to the Meat Puppets music by a bootleg. Dave now collects
some Nirvana bootlegs. There was a newspaper article where he talked about
going to Europe and buying bootleg CDs.
I have an older interview with Krist where he describes bootlegging
as 'stealing music'. I don't know if he's changed his view, and trading
tapes with someone else probably wouldn't be included in this description.
How do I get started?
There are several ways to start collecting bootlegs of Nirvana. One
of several is to get in touch with someone who will do a "trade for blanks"
(see the alt.music.bootlegs FAQ for info).
It's been my experience that most Nirvana fans are fairly generous
with live recordings because they realize that now that the band is gone,
the bootlegs are a great way to spread the music. Many fan home pages include
personal bootleg collection lists in hopes of finding people to trade with,
and the newsgroup is swarming with people interested in trading. If you
don't have anything to trade yet, most traders will trade 2:1; this means
that you send them two blank tapes, and they send you one back with whatever
bootleg you chose.
Another way is to visit your local import "hole-in-the-wall" record
store. More often than not, these deal in bootlegs.
III. Album & Song Info
A.1 - Bleach
Info: *Produced by Jack Endino.
*Drums by Chad Channing on all
tracks except Floyd the Barber,
Paper Cuts, and Downer,
which have Dale Crover on drums.
*Album's recording cost is listed
as being $606.17, which was
paid for by Jason Everman,
who did not appear on the album
despite his credit in the
*The bulk of the album was recorded
on 12/24/88, 12/29/88, and
1/24/89 at Reciprocal Studios
in Seattle, WA with three tracks being
drawn from the 1/23/88 Jack
Endino/Dale Crover session.
*Nirvana was billed for 30 hours
of studio time.
*Downer appears only on the CD
*Older vinyl versions do not contain
*Released June 6th, 1989 by Sub
Pop Records (SP 34b US) and
remastered and rereleased by Geffen in 4/92.
Notes: The first 1,000 pressings were on white vinyl. The second 2,000
pressings were on black vinyl. Other pressings can be found on red, marbled
pink, marbled green, transparent pink, splattered purple, and marbled white
(More colors may exist.)
The Songs and Their Meanings:
DISCLAIMER: These Song Interpretations are NOT mine, they are drawn
from interviews with the band. Do not e-mail me your interpretation of
the song and expect me to put them in the FAQ. There are many different
ways to interpret Nirvana's songs; I truly believe that there is no one
correct interpretation to any song.
Blew (2:53) - The whole song conveys themes of entrapment.
Floyd the Barber (2:15) - A song about a small town that goes bad, the
title is taken from a character on The Andy Griffith Show. Everyone turns
out to be a mass-murderer. The song also shows Freudian castration fears.
About A Girl (2:46) - A song written for Kurt's girlfriend Tracy, she
threatened to kick him out if he didn't get a job.
Chad Channing named the song when Kurt asked him "What should I name
this." Chad replied "What's it about." Kurt said, "A girl." Chad said,
"About A Girl."
School (2:40) - A song about the incestuous Seattle Scene. The bands
seem to resemble high school cliques.
Love Buzz (3:33) - A cover song from the Dutch group Shocking Blue.
Paper Cuts (4:04) - Part of the lyrics are based on a true story of
a family that Kurt was acquainted with, who locked their children in a
room. Other lyrics have to deal with parents and neglect.
Negative Creep (2:52) - the first-person narrative from an antisocial
Scoff (4:07) - A song that's directed towards the people who didn't
believe in Kurt's musical aspirations.
Swap Meet (3:00) - A battle of the sexes put in the background of a
Sunday swap meet.
Mr. Moustache (3:21) - Speaks out against the stereotypical male macho
Sifting (5:21) - Seems to take on authority figures with it's mention
of preachers and teachers.
Big Cheese (3:40) - This song is written about Sub Pop head honcho Jonathan
Poneman and the pressures he put on the band.
Downer (1:42) - Kurt's attempt at a political song.
A.2 - Nevermind
Info: *Produced by Butch Vig.
*All drums by Dave Grohl.
*Some CDs contain the hidden track
"Endless, Nameless" after
10 minutes of silence following
"Something In The Way." The
first 50,000 CDs pressed
lack the track and some versions
pressed by the CD clubs
lack it. (Mine had it.)
*The album was recorded in May
and June of 1991 at Sound City
Studios in Van Nuys, CA.
*Inside the album is a page with
random lyric lines from the
songs. There are two
lines of poetry which do not appear in
any of the songs.
These lines were made up by Kurt.
*Nevermind was released on 9/24/91
by Geffen Records (DGC-24425 US).
*Has sold over 10 million copies
Smells Like Teen Spirit (5:01) - An attack on the apathy of our own
In Bloom (4:14) - An attack on people who listen to certain music for
the wrong reason. Imagine the stereotypical, macho guy who sings along
to Nirvana, but has no clue what he's singing about.
Come As You Are (3:38) - A song full of contradictions on how we act
versus how we think society thinks we should act.
Breed (3:03) - Growing up and being trapped by middle-class America.
Lithium (4:15) - A first person narrative of a nervous breakdown, or
an update of the Marxist description of religion as 'Opiate of the masses'.
An ode to disconnection.
Polly (2:54) - Based on the actual kidnapping of a 14 year old girl
and her torture.
Territorial Pissings (2:22) - Multi-themed song that attacks macho men.
Drain You (3:44) - A song about (plainly and simply) love. Highly medical
Lounge Act (2:36) - A song about having a certain vision and being smothered
by a relationship.
Stay Away (3:31) - An attack on any conformist clique.
On A Plain (3:14) - Several stanzas of poetry having multi themes.
Something in the way (3:51) - A song about Kurt's experiences living
under a bridge when he was temporarily homeless.
Endless, Nameless (6:45) - Previously called 'The Noise Jam'. An experimental
song created when one of the takes on Lithium went bad.
Info: *Collection of B-sides and rarities.
*Originally planned as two different
releases by Geffen
and Sub Pop (to be called
"Cash Cow"), but they joined
*The band's intent was to 'beat
the bootleggers' by
releasing the rare songs
before the bootleggers could.
*The pictures in the album, from
left to right are:
Krist Novoselic, Kurt Cobain,
Dave Grohl, Dale Crover,
Chad Channing, and Danny
*Released on 12/15/92 by Geffen
Records (DGC-24504 US).
Song Producer Drummer Date + Studio Session ==== ======== ======= =====================
Dive Butch Vig Chad Channing 04/??/90 - Smart Studio Sliver Jack Endino
Danny Peters 07/11/90 - Reciprocal Recording Studios Stain Steve Fisk Chad
Channing 09/??/89 - Music Source Studios Been A Son Miti Adhikari Dave
Grohl 11/??/91 - BBC Studios, Mark Goodier Turnaround Dale Griffin Dave
Grohl 10/21/90 - Maide Vaile Studios, John Peel Molly's Lips Dale Griffin
Dave Grohl 10/21/90 - Maide Vaile Studios, John Peel Son Of A Gun Dale
Griffin Dave Grohl 10/21/90 - Maide Vaile Studios, John Peel (New Wave)
Polly Miti Adhikari Dave Grohl 11/??/91 - BBC Studios, Mark Goodier Beeswax
Jack Endino Dale Crover 01/23/88 - Reciprocal Recording Studios Downer
Jack Endino Dale Crover 01/23/88 - Reciprocal Recording Studios Mexican
Seafood Jack Endino Dale Crover 01/23/88 - Reciprocal Recording Studios
Hairspray Queen Jack Endino Dale Crover 01/23/88 - Reciprocal Recording
Studios Aero Zeppelin Jack Endino Dale Crover 01/23/88 - Reciprocal Recording
Studios Big Long Now Jack Endino Dale Crover 01/23/88 - Reciprocal Recording
Studios Aneurysm Miti Adhikari Dave Grohl 11/??/91 - BBC Studios, Mark
Dive (3:53) - "Yet Another re-write of the heavy string-bend grunge
Sliver (2:12) - A semi-biographical song about being deserted by your
Stain (2:37) - "Floyd The Barber's sister."
Been A Son (1:53) - Song about a girl whose parents wanted a boy, a
"slower, lamer" version can be found on the Blew EP.
Turnaround (2:17) - Cover of a Devo song, "The best Devo song," available
as the b-side to the Whip It single (WBS-49550).
Molly's Lips (1:51) - Cover of a Vaselines song, "Our favorite Vaselines
song, I left out some of the lyrics because I was too lazy to write them
down," appears on the Sub Pop release "The Way Of The Vaselines" (Sub Pop
Son of a Gun (2:47) - Cover of a Vaselines song, "Our second favorite
Vaseline's song -- get the Knack," appears on the Sub Pop release "The
Way Of The Vaselines" (Sub Pop 145).
New Wave Polly (1:46) - Faster recording of Nevermind's Polly, "Better
to do a power pop version rather than a reggae, salsa, or fox trot."
Beeswax (2:47) -
Downer (1:47) - See listing for 'Bleach'.
Mexican Seafood (1:52) - Some people seem to believe this is about a
Hairspray Queen (4:12) - "Looking back on this first demo, I've come
to realize how incredibly New Wave we once were ... Kajagoogoo"
Aero Zeppelin (4:39) - "Christ! Yeah, let's just throw together some
heavy metal riffs in no particular order and give it a quirky name in homage
to a couple of our favorite masturbatory 70's rock acts"
Big Long Now (5:01) - "Gee... a long time ago I had really long hair
and was into setting a mood. I hope The Psychadelic Furs don't sue me."
Aneurysm (4:36) - Possibly about shooting heroin, "A recent attempt
at getting back to our New Wave roots"
A.4 - In Utero
Info: *Produced by Steve Albini.
*All drums by Dave Grohl.
*Recorded at Pachyderm Studios
in March, 1993.
*Two tracks (Heart-Shaped Box
and All Apologies) remixed at the
band's request by Scott
Litt (of R.E.M. fame) in the summer of 1993,
during that session the
song "Sappy" was recorded again.
*A special version which is for
sale in certain stores (such as Wal-
Mart and K-Mart) labels
Rape Me as "Waif Me" and features slightly
altered back cover art.
Censorship, basically, but allowed by Kurt
because he knew that many
kids around the country would not have
access to the albums if
they were not available through these
*There is a piece on the meanings
of the symbols earlier in this FAQ,
in the 'frequently asked
*On the disc itself is a picture
of Kurt and Courtney's nanny
dressed in drag with the
word 'princess' scrawled on his stomach.
*Non-U.S. versions contain the
track "Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol
Flow Through The Strip,"
a 7:33 jam session as the "Devalued
American Dollar Incentive
Track," appearing after 25 minutes of
silence following the end
of "All Apologies."
*Originally titled "I Hate Myself
And Want To Die," then to be
titled "Verse Chorus Verse,"
finally "In Utero" was settled on.
*"In Utero" is Latin for "In The
*Released 9/21/93 in the US (9/14/93
elsewhere) by Geffen Records
*Sold 500,000 copies in its first
week (overshadowed by Pearl
Jam's "Vs" which sold 900,000
copies). Has sold over 5 million
copies to date.
Serve the Servants (3:54) - An autobiographical song about the whole
Nirvana experience, the 'witch hunt' on Courtney Love, and a sarcastic
response to the emphasis placed on the divorce of Kurt's parents.
Scentless Apprentice (3:47) - Based on the novel 'Perfume' by Patrick
Suskind, about a perfume maker who kills virgins for their scent.
Heart Shaped Box (4:39) - (You could write a book about this song) Themes
of codependancy and many other themes.
Rape me (2:49) - In Kurt's words, the song is a sort of poetic justice.
A guy rapes a girl. He ends up in jail and is raped there. Some interpret
it as Kurt's feelings about being 'raped' by the media.
Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle (4:07) - A song about
the story of Frances Farmer, who was declared insane and lobotomized.
Dumb (2:20) - Ignorance is bliss. There is a certain care-free happiness
involved in being dumb. Drug related themes dominate the song.
Very Ape (1:55) - An attack on the stereotypical macho man.
Milk it (3:52) - A song about co-dependancy, it heavily carries the
Pennyroyal Tea (3:36) - A song about making a tough decision and the
difficult choices around it and the guilt following it. Pennyroyal Tea
is used as an abortive substance, when drunk in large quantities. However,
due to its toxicity, it is dangerous for people to drink large quantities
of the tea.
Radio Friendly Unit Shifter (4:49) - According to Kurt this song is
a throw-away. A bunch of random poetry lines thrown together. The title
is a reference to 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' and it's slick, radio-friendly
tourette's (1:33) - This song seems to lack meaning. Kurt just screamed
a lot, based on Tourette's Syndrome; A severe case of T.S. causes one to
shout out obscenities at any time, without control. Other symptoms involve
uncontrolled twitching and other bodily movements.
All Apologies (3:50) - Contrary to popular belief, this song is not
about Frances and Courtney. He wrote it for them, but none of the lyrics
Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through the Strip (7:33) (Non-U.S. version)
- More or less, a spoken-word song to music. This is an improv-style song.
A.5 - MTV's Unplugged in New York
Info: *Produced by: Scott Litt.
*Features appearances by two members
of The Meat Puppets.
*Labeled as being complete, it
does contain all the songs, but
the entire session lasted
about 15 minutes longer. Geffen cut out
some banter and tunings.
There are complete versions floating
around on video.
*Originally conceived as a double-album
with one CD containing the
Unplugged session and the
second CD containing other live
*Released 11/1/94 by Geffen Records
*Has sold about 3.4 million copies
as of the release of
About A Girl (3:37) - From the album 'Bleach'
Come As You Are (4:13) - From the album 'Nevermind'
Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam (4:37) - Cover of a Vaseline's song which
is available on the Sub Pop release "The Way Of The Vaselines" (Sub Pop
145). The CD mistakenly has it listed as "Jesus Doesn't Want Me For a Sunbeam."
The Man Who Sold The World (4:20) - Cover of a David Bowie song which
is available on the album "Man Who Sold The World" (Ryko 10132).
Pennyroyal Tea (3:40) - From the album 'In Utero'
Dumb (2:52) - From the album 'In Utero'
Polly (3:16) - From the album 'Nevermind'
On A Plain (3:44) - From the album 'Nevermind'
Something In The Way (4:01) - From the album 'Nevermind'
Plateau (3:38) - Cover of a Meat Puppet's song which appears on the
album "Meat Puppets II" (SST 19).
Oh Me (2:36) - Cover of a Meat Puppet's song which appears on the album
"Meat Puppets II" (SST 19).
Lake Of Fire (2:55) - Cover of a Meat Puppet's song which appears on
the album "Meat Puppets II" (SST 19).
All Apologies (4:23) - From the album 'In Utero'
Where Did You Sleep Last Night? (5:06) - Cover of a Leadbelly (Huddie
Ledbetter) song (often titled "In The Pines" which appears on the album
"Where Did You Sleep Last Night?" (Folkways 40044). Leadbelly's version
itself is a take on an older, traditional song in the South.
A.6 - From The Muddy Banks Of The Wishkah
Info: *Live album originally conceived to be released with the
*Contains 16 tracks which range
from 1989 to 1994.
*Krist Novoselic listened to over
100 hours of live shows to
pick out the 16 tracks.
*There is a special 2LP vinyl
release which contains five minutes
of crowd banter on the 4th
*The intro on the CD is the 'soundcheck'
from the 12/3/89 show.
On the European Bleach tour,
they never did a full soundcheck,
they just fooled around
with all of the instruments and vocals
before they started (most
had Kurt screaming).
*FTMB features the first Geffen
release of "Spank Thru," which
appears in different forms
on two other releases.
*The Del Mar 12/28/91 show has
been aired on Westwood 1 Radio
Networks over the years.
*The 11/19/91 and 11/25/91 performances
were taped by TV stations in
their respective countries.
*Released 10/1/96 by Geffen Records
(DGC 25105 US).
*In its first week, 189,000 copies
were sold (reached #1 on
the Billboard charts) and
sold 90,000 in it's second week.
The sources for the tracks are as follows:
Intro 12/03/89 (0:52) London, England Astoria
School 11/25/91 (2:34) Amsterdam, Holland
Drain You 12/28/91 (3:34) Del Mar, CA Pat O'Brien Pavillion
Aneurysm 12/28/91 (4:29) Del Mar, CA Pat O'Brien Pavillion
Teen Spirit 12/28/91 (4:40) Del Mar, CA
Pat O'Brien Pavillion
Been A Son 11/25/91 (2:07) Amsterdam, Holland Paradiso Club
Lithium 11/25/91 (4:06) Amsterdam, Holland
Sliver 11/10/93 (1:56) Springfield, MA
Springfield Civic Center
Spank Thru 11/19/91 (3:07) Rome, Italy
Scentless App. 12/13/93 (3:25) Seattle, WA
HeartShaped Box 12/30/93 (4:41) Los Angeles, CA
Great Western Forum
Milk It 01/07/94 (3:40) Seattle, WA Seattle Center Arena
Negative Creep 10/31/91 (2:43) Seattle, WA Paramount Theatre
Polly 12/03/89 (2:27)
London, England Astoria Theatre
Breed 12/03/89 (3:12)
London, England Astoria Theatre
Tourette's 08/30/92 (1:55) Reading, England
Blew 11/25/91 (3:37) Amsterdam, Holland Paradiso Club
B.1 - Singles
Love Buzz / Big Cheese
*Released 10/88 by Sub Pop Records (SP 23 US) as part of the Sub Pop
Singles Collection. Limited to 1000 hand-numbered copies on black vinyl.
Sliver / Dive
*Released 9/90 by Sub Pop Records (SP 73 US). This release contains
a phone conversation between Krist Novoselic and Jonathan Poneman.
*Released 01/91 by Tupelo Records (TUP 25 UK). This release contains
About A Girl (live) and Spank Thru (live), both recorded live at the Pine
Street Theatre in Portland, OR on Febuary 9th, 1990.
Note: First 3,000 pressed on blue vinyl.
Candy (by The Fluid) / Molly's Lips (live)
*Released 01/91 by Sub Pop Records (SP 97 US). Molly's Lips recorded
live at the Pine Street Theatre in Portland, OR on Febuary 9th, 1990.
Note: Limited to 7,500 copies. First 3,500 pressed on black vinyl.
Last 4,000 on green marbled vinyl.
Here She Comes Now / Venus In Furst (by Melvins)
*Released Summer of 1991 by Communion Records (Communion 23 US). Both
of the songs on this single are cover songs originally by the Velvet Underground
and they both appear on the compilation album "Heaven and Hell, Vol. 1"
(Communion 20 US), which is now out of print.
Note: Available on many different colored vinyl. Each rumored to be
limited to 1,000.
Smells Like Teen Spirit / Even In His Youth / Aneurysm
*Released 9/10/91 by Geffen Records (DGC 21673 US). Some import versions
also contain Drain You.
Come As You Are / School (live) / Drain You
*Released 3/3/92 by Geffen Records (DGC 21707 US). Import versions
contain Endless, Nameless. School and Drain You recorded live at the Paramount
Theater, Seattle, WA on 10/31/91.
Lithium / Been A Son (live) / Curmudgeon
*Released 7/21/92 by Geffen Records (DGC 21815 US). Import versions
contain D-7. Been A Son recorded live at the Paramount Theater, Seattle,
WA on 10/31/91. The single contains the lyric sheet for the album Nevermind.
In Bloom / Sliver (live) / Polly (live)
*Released 11/30/92 by Geffen Records UK (GEF 34 UK). Sliver and Polly
recorded live at O'Brien Pavillion, Del Mar, CA on 12/28/91.
Puss (by The Jesus Lizard) / Oh, The Guilt
*Released 2/22/93 by Touch and Go Records (TG 83 US).
Heart-Shaped Box / Milk It / Marigold
*Released 8/23/93 by Geffen Records UK (GFST 54 UK). Marigold features
Dave Grohl on vocals. A 12 inch vinyl promo features Gallons of Rubbing
Alcohol... on the B-side (DGC-PRO-A-4558 US).
All Apologies / Rape Me / Moist Vagina (mv)
*Released 11/93 by Geffen Records UK (GFST 66 UK). The UK versions
labels Moist Vagina as "mv," while the other imports (German and Australian)
don't censor the title.
6 CD Single Box Set
*Released 11/95 by Geffen Germany (GED 24901) containing the singles
to Smells Like Teen Spirit, Come As You Are, Lithium, In Bloom, Heart-Shaped
Box, and All Apologies. This was done in an attempt to defeat a bootleg
companies attempt to release pirated copies of the singles in their own
Pennyroyal Tea (remix) / I Hate Myself And Want To Die / Where Did You
Sleep Last Night (In The Pines - Unplugged Version)
*Released 5/94 by Geffen Records UK (GED 21907 UK) in VERY LIMITED
QUANTITIES shortly after the death of Kurt Cobain. This has become quite
the collectors item, but it can be found at record shows occasionally.
Recently it has been fetching around $200 per copy. You can view scans
of the front cover, the back cover, and the actual CD.
About A Girl (Unplugged) / Something In The Way (Unplugged)
*Released 10/24/94 by Geffen Records UK (GED 21958 France).
B.2 - EPs
Blew / Love Buzz / Been A Son / Stain
*Released 12/89 by Tupelo Records (TUPEP8 UK). This contains the "slower,
lamer" version of Been A Son
Note: Limited to 3,000 on black vinyl.
*Released 1/92 on Geffen Records in Japan and Australia (MVCG 17002)
to coincide with Nirvana's '92 Pacific Rim tour.
*Geffen Japan did not have authorization to press the CD, but they
did so anyway (in mass quantities).
*Contains: Turnaround / Aneurysm / D-7 / Son Of A Gun / Even In His
Youth / Molly's Lips.
*Aneurysm is the version that is found on the Teen Spirit single.
*Turnaround, Son Of A Gun, and Molly's Lips are the same as on Incesticide.
*Even In His Youth is the same as on the Teen Spirit Single.
*D-7 is the same as the Lithium single version.
B.3 - Videos
For more video information, see the Nirvana Video Guide, linked to
in this FAQ's links section.
During April 14th and 15th, Nirvana did a video shoot with some film
students at Evergreen College in Washington. Videos for the following songs
were made: School, Lithium (two versions), Big Cheese, Floyd The Barber.
MTV has played part of the Big Cheese video in their Tribute to Nirvana.
These videos are circulating amongst bootleggers.
Note: The complete edited version of Lithium can be found on an extremely
rare video compilation called "1200 Seconds" released in October of 1990.
In Bloom (original)
*Shot in New York City sometime around 4/25/90, over two days.
*Krist shaved his head after the New York City show, so there are some
scenes where he has hair and some where he's bald.
*This video appears on Sub Pop Video Network 1 (SPV1 US).
Smells Like Teen Spirit
*Filmed on 8/17/91 at GMT Studios in Culver City, CA.
*Directed by Samuel Bayer.
*People who attended the 8/15/91 show at the Roxy were invited to the
video shoot and it was announced on a radio station.
*The video took about eight hours to shoot.
*The janitor in the video was the janitor in Sam Bayer's apartment
*The video was originally conceived to be 'the pep rally from Hell,"
with the kids leaving the gym at the end of the video and turning over
cars and burning effigies.
Come As You Are
*Filmed on 1/21/92 at ???
*Directed by Kevin Kerslake.
*The background footage was shot by the band in a park in Hollywood
*Directed by Kevin Kerslake.
*A montage of live performances from 8/23/91, 9/1/91, and 10/31/91.
*The video was originally conceptualized as being an animated film
about a young girl who finds eggs and brings them to a king, but it would
have taken too long to animate.
*Directed by Kevin Kerslake.
*Features the band on an Ed Sullivan-type show in the '60s.
*Authentic cameras from that time period were used.
*The footage of the buck-toothed kid is from an old [pre-American Bandstand
Dick Clark show] performance by Paul Anka of "Lonely Boy." I've seen it
myself...that face and smile are unmistakable!
*The video was originally conceptualized as being about a girl who
is born into a KKK family and eventually realizes that her family is evil.
*There are three different versions of this video: the first is the
one that MTV plays regularly, with half the video done in suits, half in
dresses; the second was played once, when 120 Minutes on MTV premiered
the video, featuring the band in all dresses; the third, unaired version
features the band in all suits.
*Directed by Kevin Kerslake.
*Shot in late March 1993 in Kurt's garage at his house.
*Frances Bean Cobain is featured in the video.
*MTV's rules on product placement caused parts of the video to be blurred.
*Directed by Anton Corbjin.
*Shot in late summer, 1993.
*Kevin Kerslake attempted to sue the band for trying to steal his idea.
1991: The Year Punk Broke
*Directed by Dave Markey as a document of the 8/91 European tour.
*Approximate running time is 90 minutes.
*Features tracks by Sonic Youth, Nirvana, Dinosaur Jr., The Ramones,
and other bands that toured.
*Released 1992 by Geffen Video (R-2677).
*Nirvana songs featured are: Negative Creep (from ???), School (from
9/1/91), Endless, Nameless (from 8/23/91), Smells Like Teen Spirit (from
8/20/91), and Polly (from ???).
Live! Tonight! Sold Out!!
*Released 11/15/94 by Geffen on video and laserdisc (DGCV 39541 US,
*Approximate Running Time is 83 minutes.
*Contains live songs, interviews, and backstage footage from the Nevermind
Songs and their sources are:
Aneurysm Amsterdam, Holland 11/25/91 + Rio 1/23/93
About A Girl Seattle, WA 10/31/91
Dive Rio 1/23/93
Love Buzz Dallas, TX 10/19/91
Breed Seattle, WA 10/31/91
Smells Like Teen Spirit London, UK "Top o' The Pops" TV show
Negative Creep Honolulu, HI 2/22/92
Come As You Are Amsterdam, Holland 11/25/91
Territorial Pissings London TV 12/6/91 + Amsterdam
Something In The Way Nagoya, Japan 2/16/92
Lithium Reading, England 8/30/92
Drain You Amsterdam, Holland 11/25/91
Polly Seattle, WA 10/31/91
Sliver Amsterdam, Holland 11/25/91
On A Plain Roskilde, Denmark 6/26/92
Endless, Namelss Seattle, WA 10/31/91
Nirvana is also featured in the film Hype! (a documentary on the Seattle
Music Scene) and contains footage of the first performance of Smells Like
Teen Spirit (with different lyrics).
B.4 - Compilation Appearances
"Spank Thru" appears on Sub Pop 200 on Sub Pop Records (SP 25b US).
Note: Limited to 5,000 copies.
"Spank Thru" appears on Sub Pop Rock City on Glitterhouse Records (GR0052).
"Mexican Seafood" appears on Teriyaki Asthma on C/Z records (C/Z 037
*Released 8/89, Released 11/92.
Note: Limited to 1,000 copies on black vinyl.
"Do You Love Me" appears on Hard To Believe on C/Z records (C/Z 024
*This is a KISS Tribute Compilation.
*Features the only recorded appearance of Jason Everman.
"Here She Comes Now" appears on Heaven and Hell vol. 1 on Communion
Records (Communion 20 US).
*This is a Velvet Underground Tribute Compilation.
*Released in 1991.
"Dive" appears on The Grunge Years on Sub Pop Records (SP 112 US).
"Beeswax" appears on Kill Rock Stars on K Records (KRS 201 US).
"Return of the Rat" appears on 8/14 Songs for Greg Sage and the Wipers
on Tim/Kerr records (T/K 917010 TRIB 2 US).
This is a Wipers Tribute Compilation.
*Original version readily available on the Hype! Soundtrack (SP 371
"The Priest They Called Him" appears on the album of the same name on
Tim/Kerr records (T/K 9210044/92CD044).
*This is a story written & recited by William S. Burroughs.
*Kurt plays the noise background.
*Krist appears on the cover in the priest outfit.
*Released summer, 1993
"Sappy" appears on No Alternative on Arista Records (07822-18737-2 US).
*This is an AIDS Benefit album.
*Nirvana has the final, uncredited track.
*Released late '93.
"I Hate Myself and Want To Die" appears on The Beavis and Butt-Head
Experience on Geffen Records (GEFD 24613 US).
"Pay To Play" appears on DGC Rarities Vol. 1 on Geffen Records (DGCD-24704
*Pay to Play is a demo version of Stay Away recorded at Smart Studios
by Butch Vig in April of 1990.
"Radio Friendly Unit Shifter" (live) appears on Home Alive on EPIC Records
*This version recorded live in Grenoble, France at Le Summens 2/19/94.
"Negative Creep" appears on the Hype! soundtrack on Sub Pop Records
(SP 371 US).
*The soundtrack features tracks by Seattle-area artists and is meant
to be a 'companion piece' to the movie.
*The final track on the CD (#23) is uncredited, but it features a 30-second
snippet of the Muzak version of Smells Like Teen Spirit beginning around
the 1:20 mark of the track.
*Nirvana is featured in the movie with a live clip of the first performance
of Smells Like Teen Spirit.
C.1 - Older, Non-Studio Demos: The Fecal Matter demo
This is information compiled by Jeff about the infamous Fecal Matter
Kurt on Vocals and Guitar
Greg Hokanson on Drums (actually a drum pad he borrowed from Dale Crover).
Dale Crover on Bass
It has 7 songs...
Here are some titles that I've gotten...
1. Sound of Dentage
2. Bambi Slaughter
3. Laminated Effect
4. Buffy's Pregnant
5. Spank Thru
6. Downer (instramental)
7. Suicide Samurai
There is a heavy metal-type song w/lyrics like
"You said you changed....
Like to do experiments
Why are you so mean to me"
Buffy's Pregnant goes:
"Buffy's pregnant, you'll fit the class/we'll all debate
who's got the nicest ass\spreading mind-games etc.....
Chorus "Clone" (x5)
It has some funny spoken word parts where Kurt impersonates a cheerleader
and talks about beating up "punk rock faggots."
This demo is hard to come by. Some bootleggers have it, but they don't
C.2 - Older, Non-Studio Demos: "Mellow 4-track Shit"
This demo features three songs:
1. Cracker ("Polly")
2. Seed ("Misery Loves Company" - Never rerecorded)
3. Sad ("Verse Chorus Verse")
This demo was recorded in early 1988 and is readily available through
bootleggers. Two different versions of this session are available. Alex
Bender (firstname.lastname@example.org): There are two different versions of this
session available. The best version is on the "Hollywood Rock Festival"
bootleg disc and features a 30 second noise intro to Seed that sounds a
little like the moaning in Moist Vagina. It also features some additional
guitar noises at the end of Cracker and Sad. It is better quality than
on Outcesticide 1, the most common version, which also cuts out the Seed
intro and the other various noises.
C.3 - Older, Non-Studio Demos: The "4 quirky song demo"
These demos were recorded to be included on Bleach, but Sub Pop thought
the songs were "retarded." The songs on it are:
1. Untitled (called Bambi Kill/Slaughter by bootleggers)
2. Clean Up Before She Comes
4. Black and White Blues (an instrumental, title not definite)
These demos appear on a bootleg disc called "Dressed for Success" along
with an old boombox version of About A Girl and a version of Drain You
recorded in 1990 with the Melvins.
D. - Unused Studio Tracks
Songs that were recorded in the studio but have yet to appear on any
If You Must 1/23/88 by Jack
Endino - Available on bootlegs
Pen Cap Chew 1/23/88 by Jack Endino
- Available on bootlegs
6/11/88 by Jack Endino - Available on bootlegs
Token Eastern Song 9/??/89 by Steve Fisk - Not Available Yet
There are also alternate versions (w/different lyrics in some cases)
of Blew, Even In His Youth, Polly, Siftings, Mr. Moustache, and many others.
There were reportedly four songs recorded for Nevermind that were never
used, but were completed. Speculation says they could have included Dumb
and Pennyroyal Tea (which were written in late '90). Rape Me was also conceived
at the Nevermind recording, but it was deemed too harsh.
In late January, 1994, Nirvana went to Bob Lang Studios and recorded
the tentatively-titled "You've Got No Right." This song was played live
once, on 10/23/93, and Hole performed the song on Hole Unplugged.
Dave and Krist recorded some of their own songs, as well.
E. - What's Next?
With the release of From the Muddy Banks, we face the uncertainty of
another Nirvana album. Supposedly we are to expect a boxed set from Geffen
in late 1999. As you can see from the list above, there are plenty of unreleased
tracks that Geffen could release. Another possibility would be a sequel
to Incesticide, another B-side collection with a few new tracks.
Geffen kept pushing the fact that Live! Tonight! Sold Out!! was from
the Nevermind days, perhaps a sequel with footage from the In Utero tour
One thing is certain, anything is possible. Look at the Beatles Anthology
series, which was released some 30 years after some of the songs were recorded.
Hopefully we won't have to wait that long.
IV. TV And Radio Appearances
04/17/87 - KAOS Olympia Community Radio - Olympia, WA
Love Buzz / Floyd The Barber / Downer / Mexican Seafood / White Lace
And Strange / Spank Thru / Anorexorist / Hairspray Queen / Pen Cap Chew
10/26/89 - Maide Vaile Studios (John Peel Session) - London, England
About A Girl / Love Buzz / Polly / Spank Thru
11/01/89 - VPRO-FM Radio Station (Nozems a Go Go) - Hilversum, Holland
About A Girl / Dive / Love Buzz
09/25/90 - KAOS Olympia Community Radio (Boy Meets Girl Radio) - Olympia,
Opinion / Lithium / D-7 / Dumb
10/21/90 - Maide Vaile Studios (John Peel Session) - London, England
D-7 / Molly's Lips / Son Of A Gun / Turnaround
09/03/91 - Maide Vaile Studios (John Peel Session) - London, England
Dumb / Drain You / Endless, Nameless
11/05/91 - BBC Studios (Mark Goodier Radio 1 Session) - London, England
Been A Son / (New Wave) Polly / Aneurysm / Something In The Way
11/08/91 - BBC Studios "The Word" - London, England
Smells Like Teen Spirit
11/24/91 - VARA-FM Studios (Twee Meter De Lucht In) - Hilversium, Holland
Here She Comes Now (take 1) / Here She Comes Now (take 2) / Where Did
You Sleep Last Night
11/27/91 - BBC Studios "Top of the Pops" - London, England
Smells Like Teen Spirit (lip-synched goth version)
12/06/91 - Channel 4 Studios "Jonathan Ross Show" - London, England
01/10/92 - MTV Studios - New York City, NY
SOUNDCHECK: On A Plain / Stain
PERFORMANCE: Drain You / School / Molly's Lips / Polly / Aneurysm Smells
Like Teen Spirit / Territorial Pissings
*(Total playing time: about an hour, these tracks NOT IN ORDER)
01/11/92 - NBC Studios (Saturday Night Live) - New York City, NY
Smells Like Teen Spirit / Territorial Pissings
09/09/92 - UCLA's Pauley Pavilion (MTV Video Music Awards) - Los Angeles,
Rape Me (intro) / Lithium
09/25/93 - NBC Studios (Saturday Night Live) - New York City, NY
Heart Shaped Box / Rape Me
11/18/93 - Sony Studios (MTV Unplugged) - New York City, NY
About A Girl / Come As You Are / Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam / Dumb
/ The Man Who Sold The World / Pennyroyal Tea / Polly / On A Plain / Plateau
/ Lake Of Fire / All Apologies / Where Did You Sleep Last Night
*(Aired 12/16/93 in this order above, true order and song list is reflected
on the Unplugged CD)
02/04/94 - Canal Nulle Part Ailleurs - Paris, France
Rape Me / Pennyroyal Tea / Drain You
02/23/94 - RAI Italian TV: Tunnel - Rome, Italy
Serve The Servants / Dumb
A. - Krist Novoselic's Internet posts
This is the first of his posts:
From: Krist Novoselic <[e-mail address deleted]>
Date: 24 Sep 94 21:34 PDT
Subject: Steve Tyler is cool.
Kurt respected Steven tyler and Aerosmith very much. He met Steven
Steven laid a NA trip on him & Courtney and Mike Starr from Alice
Not preaching about NA , just relating about his trips with drugs and
They would all have been good to listen to Mr. TR Tyler.
Steve knew hiss
shit and just wanted to relate to them. Youthful cynicism or
we shall see.
This is the second post:
From: [e-mail address deleted]
Date: Wed Nov 9 18:12:43 EST 1994
Thank you all for the messages. I cannot answer n
any of them. I am sorry.
I don't have the time or the energy and frankly, I can't dwell on Nirvana.
I can't spill my guts. It's too personal and again, I can't dwell
on it. I
guess I'm the little bass player who can't. Chugga, chugga, choo,
Wow that was a rush. I'm embarassed! There is too much
pain. I'm over the
daily "grief waves" but still go through feelings of confusion, anger,
missing him and alot of times a feeling of beautiful loving feelings
friend. Fuck this is enough. Next time I'll upload so my
software can tell
me when i am repeating words too often. It's late and I'm kinda
Nothing matters anymore anyway. The christians are going
to baptise us
before we're marched up to the wall. I'm talking about the mid
When the Christian coalition comes a knocken, both house's are gonna
heed. If that's the case, God help us all! (sic) True Christains
emulate Jesus. You know, to be right on and not judge, be forgiving
wine to weddings and have long hair and a beard.
The suede denim secret police are gonna get me for that one,
fer sure. Wow,
by the way I've been rambling, you'd think that I was Courtney or some
I could never match that prose though, shre(Whoops) she should get
So many people are gonna read this because Krist Novoselic wrote
it but let
me tell you this, I am a man of the proletariat! This is quite
a boast comming
from my tax bracket. Remember, socialism is an ethic not an ideology!
this under the gase of an actual portrait, not a print, of Lenin.
this at the Pike Place Market and it came from some soviet beu
Vladivostok. Newt Gingrich has his St Paul I have no one.
You don't think
that I'm some le bolshevik. Who needs Lenin when you have Mao?
start a shining path sattelite up here in the northwest. I want
with a 383 and a four speed pistol grip shifter. Super Bee.
The whole of this silly rant is that I really don't have much
to say, right
now. Sure if I were to be in the seat next to you on a plane
and we struck
up a conversation, we'd pass the time by discussing the topics of the
what ever. I cannot answe5r Nirvana questions. The mail
I got was sweet and
I apreaciate it by hey, as the Flav says, "Can't do nothing for you
To be truthful, I'll read your messages but won't reply. Who
am I any way.
I'm the guy next in line at Safeway. I'm the person in the left
lane of traffic
who gets uptight when people won't get over. I was in an e imencly
rock band. Did I spell immense right? What ever.
I understand the power of
music so i understand you all. Sometimes I can't understand jack
talk shit about dear old Kurt but as a true democrat,NO party affiliation,
I'll respect the fact that they have a right to thier opinion, no matter
shallow and misinformed it is. We need more respect in this world.
Remember that the music biz and the rock press have a symbiotic
Remember that Nirvana was about music, first and foremost.
Remeber Leon Trotsky. THe Fugs, "Dirty Old Man".
Remember not to e mail me. I will not answer.
You are all good. good bye and god blesss!
Here is the third post:
From: NOVOSELIC ON RS#748
Subject: NOVOSELIC ON RS#748
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 15:13:50 -0800
I've just finished reading the Rolling Stone Article on Pearl
Jam and Eddie Vedder. It breaks my heart the way they tear
apart Eddie. I really don't think Rolling Stone has the authority
to carry out such a thrashing. There are many points in the
article that I take issue with.
First off, on a personal note, it was painful that those
writers had to exhume Kurt to build up their case against Pearl
Jam. R.S. opened up a can of worms. No one was above or
below receiving a negative perspective from Kurt. No one.
were printed, some weren't. I'll assure Rolling Stone that a
quickly penned message on a T-shirt was the least of it. I'll
you this though, if Kurt knew someone was personally hurt by
his words, he truly felt bad. God bless Kurt.
It seems like the magazine believes it has license to use
Kurt's name to illustrate any point it wants to make. A few
months ago it was a reefer madness, anti-drug hysteria article
against Seattle. Now they dig up Kurt to slam one of our
exemplary community leaders. This belligerence and disrespect
What standard is R.S. basing its scrutiny on? For R.S. to
judge Pearl Jam or Eddies credibility, in regards to the
revolution, is a complete ruse. If not the revolution, then what
are they holding him up to? I have original copies of the earliest
R.S. magazines. I love them. 30 years ago they had something
to say. Printed on newsprint it was like a fanzine, the music
politics covered were truly revolutionary. Today, the magazine
is pop culture and political status quo. Why did R.S. move
away from it's original mission? It did so to keep up with it's
demographic. R.S. may be successful but is it real? I'd
quote a true revolutionary, Jesus Christ, who said, "It is better
to have not known me than to have known me and turned
R.S. turned away long ago. Rolling Stone magazine
doesn't have the authority or credibility to judge anyone.
B. - Mini book reviews:
This is a list of the books out there dealing with Nirvana read by
Jeff, and his opinions on them:
Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana - by Michael Azerrad
Virgin Books - Released 10/21/93. Rereleased late '94 with new final
-A necessity. If you like Nirvana and don't have this book, go out
and buy it. Referred to online as "CAYA".
Route 666: On the Road to Nirvana - by Gina Arnold
-I skimmed this book in the bookstore one day, and it only appeared
to briefly mention the band. The main focus is on the music scene.
Never Fade Away: The Kurt Cobain Story - by Dave Thompson
-This book reads like a tabloid newspaper does. Filled with inaccuracies.
Cobain - The Editors of Rolling Stone
-This is a great collection of articles and interviews about Nirvana
from the archives of Rolling Stone. The pictures are great and so are the
articles. It's a hardcover and will run you about $30, but it's well worth
C. - Early Nirvana Biography:
NIRVANA is a three piece from the outskirts of Seattle WA. Kurdt-Guitar/Voice
and Chris-Bass have struggled with too many un dedicated drummers for the
past 3 years. Performing under such names as: Bliss, Throat Oyster, Pen
Cap Chew, Ted Ed Fred ETC... for the last 9 months we have had the pleasure
to take Chad-Drums under our wings and develop what we are now and always
will be NIRVANA. 3 regularly broadcasted carts on K.C.M.U. (Seattle College
Radio also KAOS Olympia) Played with: Leaving Trains, Whipping Boy, Hells
Kitchen, Trecherous Jaywalkers + countless local acts. Looking for: EP
or LP ...We have about 15 songs recorded on 8 tracks at Reciprocal Studios
in Seattle. Willing to compromise on material (some of this shit is pretty
old) Tour any-time forever. Hopefully the music will speak for itself.
Please Reply. Thank You.
D. - Kurts Cobain's Designed Fender Jag-Stang:
Machine Heads: Vintage Style
Fretboard:Rosewood (7.25" Radius/184mm)
No of Frets: 22
Pickups: Vintage Style (neck),Humbucker
Controls: Master Volume, Master Tone
Bridge/Tremolo: Floating Tremolo
Pickup Switching: 2P/U On/Off In/Out Phase
Scale Length: 24" (609.6mm)
Neck Width @ Nut: 1.5625" (39.68mm)
Designed by: Kurt Cobain and Larry Brooks
E. - Dave Grohl's top 10 drummer jokes:
1. What do Ginger Baker and canteen coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.
2. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, so long as the roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts
the bulb in the socket for him.
3. What is the difference between a chiropidist and Ginger Baker?
A chiropidist bucks up your feet
4. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
Neil Peart would have done it.
5. How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.
6. How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
He doesn't know when to come in
7. How can you tell when the drum riser is level?
Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth
8. What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
9. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they have a machine to do that now.
10. What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"
F. - 1992 Australian tour info:
Tour Promoter: Steve Pavlovic. (As mentioned in liner notes of Incesticide)
Publicist: Mandy Barron.
First show in Australia: Friday, January 24th 1992 at the Phoenician
Club in Sydney, Australia. Support Bands: Tumbleweed, The Meanies.
Last show in Australia: Friday, February 7th 1992 at Selina's, Coogee
Bay Hotel, Sydney, Australia. Support Bands: Nunbait, Crow, and Cosmic
This was the Start of their Pacific Rim Tour, including New Zealand,
Japan and Hawaii.
The Violent Femmes were paid three times the amount Nirvana earned
for their Big Day Out show in Sydney, 1992.
Jimmy Barnes' (popular Australian performer of the 80's) management
rang and asked if Nirvana would play a show with him in Paramatta.
All Apologies was premiered during the Australian Tour, on the 5th
of February, at the ANU Bar at Canberra, and was subsequently played during
the next couple of nights as well.
Because of Cobain's poor health because of his stomach condition, the
show at Festival Hall in Brisbane on the 27th of January had to be cut
short, and the Perth show at the Metropolis on the 29th was subsequently
G. - FAQ Of "Perfume" - Kurt Cobain's Favorite Book:
Scentless Apprentice is based on the book Perfume by Patrick Süskind.
One of Kurt's favorite books, a book he read several times. Kurt put the
full book into 13 short lines in the song. Please take this as a guide
not a Bible in how to read this song, this is how I myself see this song,
and I might not be correct all the time. I've done my best though. And
remember, read th book BEFORE you read this page and try to find out what
Scentless Apprentice means, as this page won't make a sense without knowing
what the book is about. The book should be available at your local library
or online at www.amazon.com.
Like most babies smell like butter
His smell smelled like no others
Grenouille was born without a normal human scent. The priest featured
in the beginning of the book points out that all babies are born with a
scent of butter, and because Grenouille does not have that scent, he is
the devil's creature ...
Not until his mid-twentiws Grenouille would be accepted as a normal
person that people would notice, when he made up his own human-scent perfume
He was born scentless and senseless
He was born in a scentless apprentice
... Grenouille did not have a human scent, nor did he have normal human
senses. His smell was excellent and his vision was terrible, so as he grew
up he would navigate himself by the use of his nose, most likely with his
eyes closed, as they were of no help at all for him ...
Grenouille was born in a fish hut, and the reason he didn't get normal
senses was because his mother tried to kill him as soon as he was born.
She let him lie among raw fish and shit in the hut to die, and left him.
Neighbours heard his screams though, and his mother was soon arrested and
sentenced to death.
Go away - get awat, get away, get a-way
Grenouille couldn't stand the human scent because of his ultra-sensitive
nose. So he couldn't stand being around other human beings.
This is also one of a few personal lines from Kurt. The media and mainstream
rock world has fucked him over so many times he just wants them to stay
away from him and his family and his band.
Every wet nurse refused to feed him
Babies without a mother to breast-feed them was given other women to
feed them. Those women got paid for their work, and some even lived off
of feeding other people's babies. Grenouille went through several of these,
but every one of them passed him on to the next "breast-mother" because
he was greedy and took all the milk. That meant there were no milk left
for the rest of the babies, and they would only get paid for one baby.
Electrolytes smell like semen
Grenouille with his unique nose noticed how men stunk of sweat and semen.
I promise not to sell your perfumed secrets
When Grenouille left perfume-maker Baldini, who'd gotten rich off of
Grenouille's unique skills, he had to promise never to tell anyone about
any of the perfume formulas. This didn't bother Grenouille as he was full
of new formulas. Right after Grenouille had left Baldini's life, he died.
There are several formulas for pressing flowers
I lie in the soil and fertilize mushrooms
At first, Grenouille though fertilizing was the only way to press flowers
and get their scent. When he discovered the endless formulas to get the
scent out of an item, he was amazed, and spent all night long trying to
discover new methods ...
So he would sit up all night long trying to get the scent out of every
item he could find, using all sorts of methods.
Leaking out fumes are made into perfume
Grenouille didn't like the fact that some of the scent leaked out and
he couldn't catch all of it. But as he practiced, he learned how to make
all the fumes into perfume.
You can't fire me because I quit Throw me in the fire and I won't throw
Grenouille was never fired from a job, he just quit and left the town
without letting anyone know, most likely with a catastrophe hitting the
town he'd just left a matter of days later ...
Grenouille didn't have any senses, he could do anything without getting
more pain than what he already had. The people he worked for told him to
do horrible things, but Grenouille did it without making a scene out of
This is also personal lines from Kurt. He used to quit jobs without
letting anyone know about if, just stop showing up, when he was young ...
The media invaded Kurt and Courtney's lives. They "threw him in the
fire". But there was nothing he could do to get back at them, so he "couldn't
throw a fit" at them for doing what they did.
Perfume is an excellent book. I do not say this because Kurt liked it,
but because it really is an excellent book. I've read it five times so
far as of writing this, and I suggest to anyone who hasn't read it already
to read it as soon as they get a chance. Also check out other books by
Patrick Süskind, as he is a great writer. Books can be found in your
local library or online at www.amazon.com.
H. - Nirvana album linear notes:
H1. - Nevermind:
Spring is here again, tender age in bloom, he knows not what it means,
sell the kids for food, we can have some more. The water is so yellow,
I'm a healthy student, you're my vitamins. Take your time, hurry up, the
choice is yours, don't be late. And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've
heard but I'm not sure, I'm so excited I can't wait I can't wait to meet
you there but I don't care. I don't care if it's old, I don't mind if I
don't have a mind, get away from your home. Have to poison skin, give an
inch take a smile. Never met a wise man, if so it's a woman, gotta find
a way, I had a better wait. One more special message to go, as a defense
I'm neutered and spayed, what the hell am I trying to say? I got so high
that I scratched till I bled. The second coming came in last and out of
the closet. At the end of the rainbow and your rope. Don't hurt yourself,
I want some help, to help myself, she's just as bored as me. I've got this
friend you see, who makes me feel, I don't regret a thing. And the animals
I've trapped have all became my pets. Our little group has always been
and always will until the end, with the lights out it's less dangerous,
here we are now, entertain us, I feel stupid and contagious, here we are
now entertain us, a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, yay, yay,
a denial, I'm worse at what I do best and for this gift I feel blessed,
I found it hard, it was hard to find, oh well, whatever, nevermind.
H2. - Hormoaning:
In Billboard, the magazine published December 14, 1991, Nevermind was
#6 in the CD hit ranking and the single Smells Like Teen Spirit was #23
in the single ranking. Nirvana used to be described as the hopeful band
from Seattle before they produced the first record. However, Nirvana is
now one of the most popular bands in the US. The music they play doesn't
stick to any formalities and leads heavy metal in the new generation, therefore
it is called Alternative Heavy Rock. I will neither write more details
about Alternative Heavy Rock, nor investigate their music from professional
eyes. Anyway, all I can say is that the music of Nirvana influences a lot
of teenagers today.
Nirvana's commercial success is the biggest mystery in the music scene.
I don't want you to misunderstand. I didn't say Nirvana did not have enough
ability to get "Platinum Disk prize," but nobody could expect they would
be such a famous band. The reason people think Nirvana's success is a mystery
is that Geffen [the record label that] Nirvana and some other popular bands
(such as Guns N' Roses) belong to, sold only a few Nevermind at first but
a lot of young people bought it and Nirvana got big money even then. But
I think Nirvana themselves are very surprised about this incident. Actually,
I had a chance to interview Kurt Cobain (vocals, guitar) during England
concert tours (their supporting acts were their favorite groups, Shonen
Knife and Captain America, by the way). He said the following:
"I didn't expect we would be so famous. I didn't even expect that our
CD would be in the top 100 ranking in Billboard. You see, we had been in
Europe before the great fuss. I don't want to relate with this fuss because
I hate that a lot of fans are waiting for us at the airport."
Kurt Cobain seemed like he was saying "Don't lose your mind" to himself
during the interview. (personal opinion) Maybe they know a lot of musicians
who lost their thoughts and became the toy of mass media. So Kurt Cobain
is protecting himself before he goes the same way. Nirvana will come to
Japan pretty soon so that you will be able to understand what I am trying
to say. Because they will come to Japan, I will advise you about their
concert. First thing I have to tell is that the concert is always unsociable.
And also they are easily influenced by the environment so it depends on
your luck whether the concert is very nice or boring.
This CD is released just for Japan. I'd like to introduce each song
on this mini-album, but we don't even know what songs will be on the CD.
By one record company's information, two of the songs from the Smells Like
Teen Spirit CD single, which are Even In His Youth and Aneurysm. It may
also include some songs which were broadcast by BBC Radio-1 in England.
It may be just a rumor, but one of them may be their favorite song by the
I think that most of the people who bought this mini-CD have Nevermind,
too. But if it is the first time to buy Nirvana's CD for you, I recommend
you to experience Nevermind. I'm sure you'll like it too.
H3. - Incesticide:
A while ago, I found myself in bloody exhaust grease London again with
an all-consuming urge to hunt for two rare things: back issues of NME rumored
to be secretly hidden in glass casings and submerged in the fry vats of
every kebab machine in the U.K. and the very-out-of-print first Raincoats
LP. The NME search was a clever, saucy upstart of an attempt to be, uh,
nasty. However, the Lord and Julian Cope himself know how we need, need,
need the NME to embrace the unifying hands of our children across this
big blue marble and NIRVANA's tarty musical career. So please bless us
again - we'll forever feed off of your high-calorie boggy turbinates. In
an attempt to satisfy the second part of my quest, I went to the Rough
Trade shop and of course, found no Raincoats record in the bin. I then
asked the woman behind the counter about it and she said "well, it happens
that I'm neighbors with Anna (member of the Raincoats) and she works at
an antique shop just a few miles from here." So she drew me a map and I
started on my way to Anna's. Sometime later, I arrived at this elfin shop
filled with something else I've compulsively searched for over the past
few years - really old fucked up marionette-like wood carved dolls (quite
a few hundred years old). Lots of them... I've fantasized about finding
a ship filled with so many. They wouldn't accept my credit card but the
dolls were way too expensive anyway. Anna was there, however, so I politely
introduced myself with a fever- red face and explained the reason for my
intrusion. I can remember her boss almost setting me on fire with his glares.
She said "well, I may have a few lying around so, if I find one, I'll send
it to you (very polite, very English)." I left feeling like a dork, like
I had violated her space, like she probably thought my band was tacky.
A few weeks later I received a vinyl copy of that wonderfully classic scripture
with a personalized dust sleeve covered with xeroxed lyrics, pictures,
and all the member's signatures. There was also a touching letter from
Anna. It made me happier than playing in front of thousands of people each
night, rock-god idolization from fans, music industry plankton kissing
my ass, and the million dollars I made last year. It was one of the few
really important things that I've been blessed with since becoming an untouchable
boy genius. It was as rewarding as touring with Shonen Knife and watching
people practically cry with joy at their honesty. It made people happy
and it made me happy knowing that I had helped bring them to the U.K. It
was as rewarding as the last Vaselines show in Edinburgh. They reformed
just to play with us in their home town, probably having no idea how exciting
and flattering it was for us (and how nervous we were to meet them). It
was as rewarding as being asked to support Sonic Youth on two tours, totally
being taken under their wing and being showed what dignity really means.
It was as rewarding as the drawings Daniel Johnson sent me, or the Stinky
Puffs single from Jad Fair's son, or playing on the same bill as Greg Sage
in L.A., or being asked to help produce the next Melvins record, or being
on the Wipers' compilation, or Thor from T.K. giving me a signed first
edition of Naked Lunch, or making a friend like Stephen Pavlovic - our
Australian tour promoter who sent me a Mazzy Star LP on vinyl, or playing
"The Money Will Roll Right In" with Mudhoney, or having the power to insist
on bringing Bjorn Again to the Reading Festival, or being able to afford
to bring my friend Ian along on tour just to have a good time, or paying
Calamity Jane five-thousand dollars to be heckled by twenty thousand macho
boys in Argentina, or asking my friends Fits of Depression to play with
us at the Seattle Coliseum, or playing with Poison Idea at a No On Nine
benefit in Portland organized by Gus Van Zandt, or being a part of one
of L7's pro-choice benefits in L.A., or kissing Chris and Dave on Saturday
Night Live just to spite homophobes, or meeting Iggy Pop, or playing with
The Breeders, Urge Overkill, the T.V. Personalities, The Jesus Lizard,
Hole, Dinosaur Jr., etc. While all these things are very special, none
were half as rewarding as having a baby with a person who is the supreme
example of dignity, ethics and honesty. My wife challenges injustice and
the reason her character has been so severely attacked is because she chooses
not to function the way the white corporate man insists. His rules for
women involve herbeing submissive, quiet, and non-challenging. When she
doesn't follow his rules, the threatened man (who, incidentally, owns an
army of devoted traitor women) gets scared. A big "fuck you" to those of
you who have the audacity to claim that I'm so naive and stupid that I
would allow myself to be taken advantage of and manipulated. I don't feel
the least bit guilty for commercially exploiting a completely exhausted
Rock youth Culture because, at this point in rock history, Punk Rock (while
still sacred to some) is, to me, dead and gone. We just wanted to pay tribute
to something that helped us to feel as though we had crawled out of the
dung heap of conformity. To pay tribute like an Elvis or Jimi Hendrix impersonator
in the tradition of a bar band. I'll be the first to admit that we're the
90's version of Cheap Trick or the Knack but the last to admit that it
hasn't been rewarding. At this point I have a request for our fans. If
any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or woman,
please do this one favor for us - leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to
our shows and don't buy our records. Last year, a girl was raped by two
wastes of sperm and eggs while they sang the lyrics to our song "Polly".
I have a hard time carrying on knowing there are plankton like that in
our audience. Sorry to be so anally P.C. but that's the way I feel.
Kurdt (the blond one)
H4. - From the Muddy Banks of Wishkah:
Nirvana started as a live band (don't all bands?). We played around
for two years before the release of Bleach in June, 1989. At the time,
live shows were our bread and butter (this being prior to the release of
Nevermind in September of 1991). We'd hit the road for months at a time...
coming back with one or two grand...to be split three ways. In those days,
that was as much "success" as we thought possible. The earliest performances
on this album are brought to you courtesy of a sound board cassette recording
of a December, 1989 show at London's Astoria. "Breed" (then called "Imodium")
and "Polly" (the big rock version) are taken from this show, the last date
of a European tour supporting fellow Sub-Poppers, Tad. Early in 1991, the
band signed with Geffen Records and acquired professional management D.I.Y.
fell by the wayside. Nevermind was recorded in the spring of 1991. Following
summer tours with Dinosaur Jr. and the Jesus Lizard, Nevermind was released
in the fall. Immediately following the release, we went on a tour headlining
small venues that culminated with a Halloween homecoming show at Seattle's
Paramount Theatre. This show was filmed and recorded onto multi-track...yielding
the version of "Negative Creep" used in compiling this record. Two days
later, the band left for another European tour. "School," "Been A Son,"
"Lithium" and "Blew" were all taken from a show at the Paradiso in Amsterdam,
Netherlands, on November 25, 1991. The show was filmed and recorded on
multi-track for Dutch TV. "Spank Thru," this version having been recorded
on November 19, 1991 in Rome, was actually the first Nirvana song. While
we were touring Europe, Nevermind was becoming all the rage back home.
Though we were kept informed on the momentum, being so far away made us
pretty oblivious to the extent of what was happening. We ended the year
with a brief West Coast tour. The bill included Pearl Jam and Nirvana and
was headlined by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The second show on this tour
was on December 28, 1991 at the Del Mar Fairgrounds (just outside San Diego).
For whatever reason, our set was particularly aggressive that night - "Drain
You," "Aneurysm" and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" were all taken from this
recording. Early in 1992, the band toured Australia and Japan. Later in
the summer, we traveled to Europe to make up some Scandanavian shows we
had to cancel on the previous tour. The touring highlight of the year,
however, was a headlining slot on England's Reading Festival. I have to
say that hearing tens of thousands of people sing along with "Lithium"
was a very cool moment in the history of the band. We were having fun playing
and decided to stretch the set out a bit - enter "tourette's," a song which
had been around for a few years (and eventually found its way onto In Utero.)
Following the release of In Utero in 1993, we once again hit the road.
Using left-over props from the "Heart-Shaped Box" video shoot as set dressing
(our first foray into the world of stage props), we concentrated on working
up a set that spanned the band's entire career and gave the audience a
longer show than we had done on past tours. In that we were playing the
"big" halls on this tour, it was felt that we needed to bring along a "big"
sound...ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Pat Smear. "Scentless Apprentice"
was filmed and recorded by MTV for their 1993 New Year's special...recorded
at a show at a pier in Seattle. "Heart-Shaped Box" comes from as sound
board DAT recording from a show at The Forum in Los Angeles in December,
1993. We took "Milk It" from a sound board recording from the Seattle Center
Arena. "Sliver" is taken from a board tape from the Springfield Civic Center
(in Massachusetts). In presenting this record, we hope that the ultimate
allure of Nirvana (and especially Kurt) as well as the passion that we
had - and have- for the music we made is once again brought to the forefront.
Let all the analysis fall away like yellow, aged newsprint. Crank this
record up and realize the bliss, power and passion...TOTAL NIRVANA!
X. - Kurt Cobain's complete suicide note:
DISCLAIMER: This is the note as it appeared in NME. The original note
is in the hands of the Seattle Police Department. Two copies were made;
one was given to the Medical Examiner, the second to Courtney Love. It
was Courtney's copy that showed up in NME.
It was a difficult decision to put this in here, but it is one of the
most frequently asked questions.
Thanks to Liz Ellison on this one!
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously
would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should
be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses
over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics
involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven
to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well
as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now.
I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage
and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't
affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seemed to love,
relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I totally
admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply
isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip
people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes
I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage.
I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God,
believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and
we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those
narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive.
I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had
as a child. On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for
all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still
can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone.
There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so
much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive,
unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't
know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a
daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and
joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do
her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function.
I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive,
death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful,
but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general.
Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy.
Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your
letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic,
moody, baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better
to burn out than to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney
for her life which will be so much happier
without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU
Note on the note: In the book 'Cobain' they mention that Boddah was
one of Kurt's imaginary friends as a child.
VI. How to get in contact with me.
If you have any suggestions or corrections for this document, or any
other concerns, please feel free to e-mail me, MikeZiegler@aol.com. Please
be sure that you are not writing about something in an old version of this
FAQ, and which has already been fixed.